It's my 39th year in this Goddess incarnation, emerging 40 by the falling of the leaves, I was told the other day I appear to be 27, (God Love that human) and my Spirit guides are reaching for my hand more than ever before. My meditations are profoundly deepening. One night, I plunge into a sorrowful beckoning silence of the soul, the next morn, I emerge the joyful chattering Goddess.
...Okay. I'm being dramatic. (I have drama geek blood. It's really not my fault. I blame the state for offering drama in a college setting.) It did not exactly happen overnight. It really felt as if it had, though.
I've been deeply studying this summer, and life could not be any more poignant or complex or perfect, right now. I have been presented with a plethora of insights, challenges, choices, and potential outcomes. I've been asked to guide and counsel. I've been called to be a leader. I imagine this is not different from too many others, but it matters that I am answering the phone...because when looking back at my life, reading journal entries tell me that no, I wasn't always picking up, that I needed to reach for something greater than this. The thing is, we can spend our whole life reaching and never find it, if we don't listen to our higher self and the rain of blessings that fall with the christening of our highest and brightest intentions for ourselves and others.
Also, if we have old, unresolved issues and cluttered and unclear vision of our future, we might as well just throw in the towel and go back to sleep, if we think those fragmented pieces can stay with popularity in the house of new growth.
I have often thought of the process of how we get to our greatness, as one equally great "baldheaded Asian" used to say. The resulting idea was that for one, we begin with the things we call jobs (obviously for money), then careers (the interest du jour, or the build up to the vocation), then the vocation, the thing you'd do without any pay at all. Things have definitely gotten interesting with the addition of a new-ish pursuit of a business.
I went back and discovered that my ideas of owning my own business go back as far as my grade school days. I was so clearly one of those children who were born knowing what they were meant to do.
"Whatever it is, I'll teach it," was the mantra I gave to my mother, and other family and friends. My dear cousin Charles (whom I've always thought of as an uncle) would always ask me when I would make it in the movies and be a star, while my sister just recently expressed how she had been patiently waiting for me to "make it." I relish my memories fondly and place all of my intention, focus and energy on the ritual to come, the preparation, proper care and feeding of this new beast, holistic heallth. It's the last bastion of health for a failing American system, and we simply need to be aware of the coming changes we face in health care. Pros and cons surround our fate.
We need to be ready as lightworkers for the wave of ill lifestyles turning into illness, opened by excited and enlightened individuals begging us for our services. It is all uniquely important to each person and lightworker, to be ready to hold space for the revolution that's changing the way we do things. Ultimately, we are swinging back in a pendular shift to an older, more precious time in the way we cared for our wellbeing. If we know how to care for ourselves holistically, we are immediately responsible for teaching and leading others to do the same. It is part of an evolved moral consciousness that, if all of us sign on, more people can have the choice of health, instead of focusing on which surgery we've chosen.
No matter what food has been brought to my table, savory or not, as Mooji would say, just say Thank You. The studies have deeply captivated my senses and have put me to work in a new way, bringing me to a place of greater identity as I face my 40th birthday head on with clarity. I know that things must change and seasons dissipate into new ones. I am feeling a measurable amount of pleasure and success, and have had success markers such as degree conferrals and friends and paychecks that show me the progress I'm achieving steadily. My life may not yet appear to be everything I could hope for at this moment, but this moment is amazing and it's all I need to know, in order to be happy now.
I don't know how or why anyone would ever choose the main road. The road less traveled always ends up having some powerfully shifting nuances built into the fabric of the journey, making the destination all that much sweeter. And by the way, I love cliches, because no matter how often they're said, they have been repeated to this point because they are unceasingly authentic. Namaste.
