Family time involves all immediate family members and those who act as family in my lives. The one reason I felt encouraged to post a reflection on this is not about how unusual this topic is, because it isn't. It is more of a fascination with how much time we give to other projects outside of our family.
I had always wondered how people had enough time to do it all, cook and clean and provide for the family while building a business, working a 9 to 5 and keeping fit, etc. I realize that most people give up one part or all of their life that involves them personally. I find that rather interesting, as I have chosen in my life up until this point to make my life about my education and career mostly. This choice has gotten me rather far. I just wonder if it also ended several other relationships for me.
It's not that I go so deep into my career that I can no longer see my family. It's that I give the attention, energy and time to projects that don't always deserve that time, or that I didn't properly organize my time and inadvertently gave away my power. In the end I've noticed that the most important people in my life suffer from this. This could mean that I am too tired to talk when I get home, dinner doesn't get taken care of, the house gets neglected or an important assignment or event gets overlooked.
It wasn't until recently, in the past few years, that I had really begun to make my family life truly important. My mom often complains of not seeing me enough, and being the "different" child, to no one's surprise. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being different. There is also nothing wrong with being the same. That being said, I thought about my desire to be in a healthy relationship. I chose just about the roughest scenario to be in. Well, maybe not the roughest, but definitely a bit difficult. Beautiful minds tend to be complicated to get inside. This comment resembles my relationship. My man requires a bit of attention and time. He really would love my undivided attention until his head hits the pillow. Other things just do not get done during the time we spend together. Then I choose to allow a scorpio child to be born. ...I thought his father and I were enough scorpio!
I simply realized that if I value family and relationships, then I will be there for them, not just in a functional way, but go out of my way to make family life work. There are definitely sacrifices to consider, including school and making extra money, that sometimes go by the wayside when choosing to make family number one, but then what otherwise is the meaning of life? So I've decided beyond the shadow of a doubt, that family comes first.Whether that means spending more money, more time, or more concentrated effort to not multitask, I'll do it.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Room with a Forest Lawn View.
If you look out the window of my classroom where I teach at Irving MS, you can see the wide range of hills swaddling the rough city, enclosing it with its greenery and expansive energy. You can also see the hillsides covered with tombstones, and in the distance, at the top of the hill, you'll find a church. Off to its left a bit is the great mausoleum, the burial site of Michael Jackson. Could it get any better than this? Yes. I decided on a whim to take my students to see it up close and personal.
Having a view of a mortuary makes a person think a lot about living life to the fullest. I originally wanted to take my kids there for Day of the Dead, in honor of our loved ones who had passed on. For any young person it is an important conversation to have about the life and death cycle. In science class we talk about the nitrogen cycle and how everything decomposes. Reminds me of what I was raised believing: ashes to ashes and dust to dust...and how death isn't the end of life, but the beginning of a new one.
The kids complained after the first two miles of walking....but once they were on the finishing stretch at the top of the hill overlooking the gorgeous vista into Glendale, I think they began to realize that the climb was worth it, if for no other reason, to be with friends on a beautiful day and have the health to be able to accomplish the task. The lady at the gateway said "woman you are crazy! Are you sure?" She asked me repeatedly. I told her yes, that I am in fact crazy. She asks me, "what, are you a fitness teacher or something?" I told her "yes, in fact I am." It was so much fun to see her expression.
On our way back down, the kids realized that they were about to have lunch for two hours and were just in the presence of MJ. Too bad we didn't get to go to his burial site. That is one reason I would return.
One of the reasons I wanted to be inside Forest Lawn was for the deep reflection it afforded me. Of course it was an unusual trip for the students to take, but the concept of being on the grounds, seeing people grieving over their loved ones, observing death and respecting life, was very important. Most of the students did not remember the last funeral they had gone to. This spoke strongly to their experience of life, living as if they would live forever. But no, they won't live forever, and they had a chance to reflect on this while enjoying the beating of their heart and filling their lungs with fresh air.
Meanwhile, as I took photos of the grounds, a certain super vibrant light shone through the trees and bounced off the church walls. To me, the lights were so bright, it could only have been influenced by the Angels. To me, it always is.
Having a view of a mortuary makes a person think a lot about living life to the fullest. I originally wanted to take my kids there for Day of the Dead, in honor of our loved ones who had passed on. For any young person it is an important conversation to have about the life and death cycle. In science class we talk about the nitrogen cycle and how everything decomposes. Reminds me of what I was raised believing: ashes to ashes and dust to dust...and how death isn't the end of life, but the beginning of a new one.
The kids complained after the first two miles of walking....but once they were on the finishing stretch at the top of the hill overlooking the gorgeous vista into Glendale, I think they began to realize that the climb was worth it, if for no other reason, to be with friends on a beautiful day and have the health to be able to accomplish the task. The lady at the gateway said "woman you are crazy! Are you sure?" She asked me repeatedly. I told her yes, that I am in fact crazy. She asks me, "what, are you a fitness teacher or something?" I told her "yes, in fact I am." It was so much fun to see her expression.
On our way back down, the kids realized that they were about to have lunch for two hours and were just in the presence of MJ. Too bad we didn't get to go to his burial site. That is one reason I would return.
One of the reasons I wanted to be inside Forest Lawn was for the deep reflection it afforded me. Of course it was an unusual trip for the students to take, but the concept of being on the grounds, seeing people grieving over their loved ones, observing death and respecting life, was very important. Most of the students did not remember the last funeral they had gone to. This spoke strongly to their experience of life, living as if they would live forever. But no, they won't live forever, and they had a chance to reflect on this while enjoying the beating of their heart and filling their lungs with fresh air.
Meanwhile, as I took photos of the grounds, a certain super vibrant light shone through the trees and bounced off the church walls. To me, the lights were so bright, it could only have been influenced by the Angels. To me, it always is.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Punching The Air.
I have to say that there are quite a few angry people with commentary about society, but very few who put enough educated thought into their responses. I would think that an educated response would manifest into some form of interaction that didn't end in some emotional tirade about how I should be thinking the way they are, otherwise I'm unintelligent....???
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the ofttimes empty world of FaceBook.
Sometimes FB can consist of some pretty crazy ideas and opinions that are supported by an interesting group of people who don't often support each other..but they will "rise up against the enemy." Now, I don't normally associate myself with people like this, but it seems that the challenge sometimes presents itself to me and I have to ask what in me has attracted this situation, because my conscious mind definitely does not feel like this is a necessary interaction or lesson to take on.
So I end up figuring that it's just another person and situation that needs a bit of prayer and positive energy thrown at it. After all, how else can an angry person who's punching the air, know that they actually have supporters when they are wildly flailing their arms? Doesn't someone have to wait by the sidelines until they can calm down enough to notice the hand you've extended?...that, or let them stop and notice that no one waited. Would that help them, or only serve to reemphasize that no one really cares? It's a tough line to tow.
Then there's the person that, no matter what you say, can't hear you. They have an internal tape playing and it won't stop or slow down to allow any additional information to come in. They've decided to nail you and label you "the enemy." This becomes a labor of love to wait for someone to snap out of their own veil of illusion and see that internal forces are working against them, as opposed to anything external, i.e., me.
Some people treat different perspectives as a crime, a blindness, an emotional and manipulative ploy, a "leftist agenda," or "the enemy," when presented. But truly a perspective is a perspective, not a way to try to manipulate the masses into some form of coercion. It's the invitation to a conversation with a varying degree of levels and thoughts, not some military stratagem targeted at some group to bring them down.
The social constructs we create shackle us. If we were to notice the disparagement we build in our society when we hold ourselves so fast to the same staid concepts and ideas that we feel most comfortable with, we fail. It's not to say that the progressive way of living is a tried and true winning situation, but we at least need to listen to all sides and see if there is a chance to find a way to improve on a human right. We all deserve to feel safe. That's all.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the ofttimes empty world of FaceBook.
Sometimes FB can consist of some pretty crazy ideas and opinions that are supported by an interesting group of people who don't often support each other..but they will "rise up against the enemy." Now, I don't normally associate myself with people like this, but it seems that the challenge sometimes presents itself to me and I have to ask what in me has attracted this situation, because my conscious mind definitely does not feel like this is a necessary interaction or lesson to take on.
So I end up figuring that it's just another person and situation that needs a bit of prayer and positive energy thrown at it. After all, how else can an angry person who's punching the air, know that they actually have supporters when they are wildly flailing their arms? Doesn't someone have to wait by the sidelines until they can calm down enough to notice the hand you've extended?...that, or let them stop and notice that no one waited. Would that help them, or only serve to reemphasize that no one really cares? It's a tough line to tow.
Then there's the person that, no matter what you say, can't hear you. They have an internal tape playing and it won't stop or slow down to allow any additional information to come in. They've decided to nail you and label you "the enemy." This becomes a labor of love to wait for someone to snap out of their own veil of illusion and see that internal forces are working against them, as opposed to anything external, i.e., me.
Some people treat different perspectives as a crime, a blindness, an emotional and manipulative ploy, a "leftist agenda," or "the enemy," when presented. But truly a perspective is a perspective, not a way to try to manipulate the masses into some form of coercion. It's the invitation to a conversation with a varying degree of levels and thoughts, not some military stratagem targeted at some group to bring them down.
The social constructs we create shackle us. If we were to notice the disparagement we build in our society when we hold ourselves so fast to the same staid concepts and ideas that we feel most comfortable with, we fail. It's not to say that the progressive way of living is a tried and true winning situation, but we at least need to listen to all sides and see if there is a chance to find a way to improve on a human right. We all deserve to feel safe. That's all.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
I am woman, hear me whine...
Yeah, so I woke up one day in the recent past to the biting discovery that I am a woman, and this means that I have to look like one. Now I don't mind looking like a woman, granted. In fact I love looking like a woman! It's the work and money that it takes, to look like a woman.
Sure, most women know this. I may in fact be one of the few who does not accept this about us, the idea of so much going into our look. But as long as we are in planet earth school, someone is going to care about how we present ourselves, especially other women.
Now at first I was going to say that men care most about how women present themselves, but I remember the days when I used to be able to wear a burlap sack and I would still get a man's attention. I'm sure it would still work. It's just that now I would add a little lipstick and wash my hair. Men do give great compliments to a woman who wears it well. It may not even be that they find them personally attractive, but they do notice when a woman looks and smells good.
I especially notice a very positive response from my man, when I make myself appear very womanly. Even though men want you the way they met you essentially, and they want you to keep your fitness a priority, they still appreciate your womanliness.
I remember asking Michael if I should go for a fitness competition and I remember him telling me what I would need to do in order to prepare (he should know, he's a trainer and used to compete) and mentioned that he didn't think he'd love that, but he would be proud of me.
Women notice the same in men. I notice that I get more comments in either direction from other women, and this makes me smile, frown and also scratch my brow, at the same time. You see, women can be hypercritical, though I've more often found women to love my style more often than I would have expected. I've had several women decide to try my style out, and they love it.(I didn't even know I had a style. See? Now I have to go shopping, as I am trendsetting, apparently.) It is a very interesting study indeed.
Okay so when I think of going out, I notice all the elements necessary in providing a solid base for my excursion into a womanly look. Say I'm planning for an event. I have to choose a dress, then shoes, then make sure to match any adornments, be they jewelry, jackets or hair clips. If I am missing any of these elements then I have to make time to buy them before the event. Then I have to get a mani/pedi and do my hair and makeup. Granted, unless you are superwoman, there is a very good chance that not all of this can happen in one day. Then you have to make sure your gas tank is full and all the kids are fed. Hopefully you've already planned dinner and the tank was filled at least a day before the event. Then you remember that you haven't waxed in a few days and that you have to make sure you shave because you're wearing something that reveals your legs.
I am dizzy just thinking about these things. Prioritization and planning is huge when it comes to being a woman. I dream about the days when I used to roll out of bed, unravel my braids and throw on some jeans and sneakers. Okay so I still do this from time to time. The difference is, I don't leave home anymore without my makeup and a nice spray of perfume.
Sure, most women know this. I may in fact be one of the few who does not accept this about us, the idea of so much going into our look. But as long as we are in planet earth school, someone is going to care about how we present ourselves, especially other women.
Now at first I was going to say that men care most about how women present themselves, but I remember the days when I used to be able to wear a burlap sack and I would still get a man's attention. I'm sure it would still work. It's just that now I would add a little lipstick and wash my hair. Men do give great compliments to a woman who wears it well. It may not even be that they find them personally attractive, but they do notice when a woman looks and smells good.
I especially notice a very positive response from my man, when I make myself appear very womanly. Even though men want you the way they met you essentially, and they want you to keep your fitness a priority, they still appreciate your womanliness.
I remember asking Michael if I should go for a fitness competition and I remember him telling me what I would need to do in order to prepare (he should know, he's a trainer and used to compete) and mentioned that he didn't think he'd love that, but he would be proud of me.
Women notice the same in men. I notice that I get more comments in either direction from other women, and this makes me smile, frown and also scratch my brow, at the same time. You see, women can be hypercritical, though I've more often found women to love my style more often than I would have expected. I've had several women decide to try my style out, and they love it.(I didn't even know I had a style. See? Now I have to go shopping, as I am trendsetting, apparently.) It is a very interesting study indeed.
Okay so when I think of going out, I notice all the elements necessary in providing a solid base for my excursion into a womanly look. Say I'm planning for an event. I have to choose a dress, then shoes, then make sure to match any adornments, be they jewelry, jackets or hair clips. If I am missing any of these elements then I have to make time to buy them before the event. Then I have to get a mani/pedi and do my hair and makeup. Granted, unless you are superwoman, there is a very good chance that not all of this can happen in one day. Then you have to make sure your gas tank is full and all the kids are fed. Hopefully you've already planned dinner and the tank was filled at least a day before the event. Then you remember that you haven't waxed in a few days and that you have to make sure you shave because you're wearing something that reveals your legs.
I am dizzy just thinking about these things. Prioritization and planning is huge when it comes to being a woman. I dream about the days when I used to roll out of bed, unravel my braids and throw on some jeans and sneakers. Okay so I still do this from time to time. The difference is, I don't leave home anymore without my makeup and a nice spray of perfume.
Breaking patterns.
So… Here I am, at the crux of the new school year. I consider it a crossroads because I am not ready for school yet. I think it is rather cruel to start my school flow Midsummer like that. Oh well. Somebody thought this would be a better plan, and so they did it… It does break up spring fever a little bit better, I suppose…
So anyway like I said, here we are again. And in the same way we left it… Or did we? I mean honestly, nothing is ever really the same if you think about it. No two similar things can really be the same twice. No matter how close you try to get something to being the same, the quality may be familiar, But only to some degree, within minutes, inches, or seconds… And maybe it's fine just as it is.
Well I am the archetypal destroyer. I like to break things down and crush them, then rebuild. It's not always the best way to do things. I mean for example, if you've built a 4 foot high legal structure, and you get one block wrong, it doesn't make logical sense to knock the entire structure down. I mean really, does it truly makes sense to completely destroy something that has taken hours days and weeks to build? The answer is no. It doesn't really make sense, not to the logical thinking mind…
… But to the mind that thinks differently, the mind that doesn't see things the way the rest of the world sees it, and actually see that breaking down something that has a tiny fissure in its structure, can make for some wonderful rebuilding, and the potential to reestablish a much stronger foundation.
Now I wouldn't recommend it as a regular course of action along the way to fixing things, but sometimes it must be done. The logical thinking mind must understand when the best time is to do such a thing, and not to do it as some form of reaction to external pressures, or an emotional outburst of sorts. Emotional reactions are always the wrong reason to do things. Well, there may be some exceptions, such as in the case of when it could possibly save your life.
A relationship should never be a game of survival. If it is, two people are truly not listening to one another's needs. The problem with even that statement, is that there is no should in a relationship either. We all have an ideal paradigm in our minds of how the ideal relationship should go, and we proceed to try to find that person who specifically fits into that paradigm. But this is the part where logic could possibly begin but usually ends, due to some extraordinary flaw in that person's thinking. The first flaw, is that there is no "should" in relationships…
We also come to expect a certain set of responses from our relationships around us, whether they are romantic or platonic. What would happen to our relationships, if we were to stop expecting people to respond in specific ways and patterns? What type of joys and gifts would our relationships bring forth then?
Thusly is the same in the rest of our lives. For example, my current goal is to begin rising at 5am, getting to my work out by 5:30a, and making it to school at a moment early enough to plan my classes and still be able to leave just after the bell rings. It would give me time after school to see clients and do the second half of my training program, have dinner with my family, and get to bed at a reasonable hour early enough to be able to share time with the people I love, instead of staying up into the wee hours of the night. I know, it is a selfish and yet unselfish act, if you know my family.
Metaphysical Bat reflection.
From Transmogrify to transmutation,
I walked the thin line between day
and night , crossing over into world
unknown
When someone you love thinks wrongly of you...
I wrote this heading a few months ago in search of the answer to this thought, and I find it interesting that I never wrote anything for it. I don't think I could properly conceive of the full expression of the thought.
Now I can.
The best response I have found is, continue to be the same loving entity that you have always been, and that person you love will eventually be able to see you for who you are. They will rise to the occasion of loving you and seeing more of themselves in that highest Light, which will lead them to see you more clearly. As they heal, their image of you will also heal. They will also stop being afraid of their own glorious being.
As for those who don't see you, sometimes our soulmates need to grow up. Maybe this means we wait for them. Maybe this means we move on. The truth is that once you focus and reflect on your life and truly make it about you, then any and all other sensations of traumatic noise is averted. You return to your higher self and purpose. You finally begin to see what your life and higher purpose is all about. Nothing else at that point matters.
The truth is that I think we say too much to the wrong people, or we say things that a person with a certain level of experience are going to get. Those who don't, will twist and turn it in the wrong direction, thereby throwing the original message off its tracks. So when a person you love doesn't have the right perspective on you, and you tell someone this, you are not giving the lesson time to gestate. You may be complaining about a situation that merely needs time, in order to work itself out. Your way of dealing with someone may ultimately be different than the way others view it. Everyone is going through their own lens and frame of reference. This makes your variety of friends respond differently to your situation....
I've learned that I can only share my thoughts with a special few persons, and that's okay. I continue to rise to my heights and hope that others can benefit from my growth and change of perspective over the course of my life. Namaste.
Now I can.
The best response I have found is, continue to be the same loving entity that you have always been, and that person you love will eventually be able to see you for who you are. They will rise to the occasion of loving you and seeing more of themselves in that highest Light, which will lead them to see you more clearly. As they heal, their image of you will also heal. They will also stop being afraid of their own glorious being.
As for those who don't see you, sometimes our soulmates need to grow up. Maybe this means we wait for them. Maybe this means we move on. The truth is that once you focus and reflect on your life and truly make it about you, then any and all other sensations of traumatic noise is averted. You return to your higher self and purpose. You finally begin to see what your life and higher purpose is all about. Nothing else at that point matters.
The truth is that I think we say too much to the wrong people, or we say things that a person with a certain level of experience are going to get. Those who don't, will twist and turn it in the wrong direction, thereby throwing the original message off its tracks. So when a person you love doesn't have the right perspective on you, and you tell someone this, you are not giving the lesson time to gestate. You may be complaining about a situation that merely needs time, in order to work itself out. Your way of dealing with someone may ultimately be different than the way others view it. Everyone is going through their own lens and frame of reference. This makes your variety of friends respond differently to your situation....
I've learned that I can only share my thoughts with a special few persons, and that's okay. I continue to rise to my heights and hope that others can benefit from my growth and change of perspective over the course of my life. Namaste.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)