Thursday, August 5, 2010

Interview With a Date.

Yes, the title is a play on the vampire book because I am reading it. And Oh my Gawd (in my best valley girl voice) it isss, like, soooo scary!! But I am soooo totally starting to digress and I haven't even started.

So I'm probably supposed to be doing homework or something....but I'm not. Okay. I sit and then decide to relish this moment of wanting to run my long, sinewy (I like that word) made-for-piano fingers over the keypad and enjoy the freedom of letting my fingers scream whatever they whoever they want. So this is not a rant to anyone, but none other than "Conversations with Universe," and I invite you all to listen in. Here goes.

What is a date?
A date is something one does with another in order to get to know the person better and see if another date should happen.

Is this an interview for sex partners?
Sure...or spiritual connection, or long term...or so I hear.

Is Date + Friend-D(ri)-end= Fate? Or Date/D('Fr) +idycat-(te)= 'Fraidy Cat?
Oh, it could be one. Or the other. Or both. Or neither.

Aren't there books out there on this equation?

Yes. I mean no. I mean, there's a bunch of books out there, and they ALL have specific rules. It's all this "no nonsense" stuff that is supposed to make sense and automatically work in your life, but so far it seems that Connie needs to write her own "manual."

Because I want to tweak the rules. My spirit so far seems to have exceptions for every rule because I believe people are flexible, and needs are flexible, Love should be flexible (isn't that the definition of unconditional?) and negotiations can sometimes be successful. Except for when you're negotiating.

This blog is not as interesting as the book Interview With a Vampire.
(But possibly just as spooky)

It's not trying to be, dork. I'm just trying to make sense of what's supposed to happen next. I mean, really, once you're in the hot and heavy throws of passion, something is supposed to dry up and hit you in the face that this person is just right, or this person is just right and I'm not, or this person is just not right and in fact all kinds of wrong and what's more is I'm outta here. Or this person is fulfilling a need for me and I'm gonna keep letting that person fulfill that need and not try to put a name or a package or price tag on it. Try that huh? You female you.

You're getting a little weird. Tell me about a date you've had.

Well, there's one that lasted a day, one that lasted three months or more and one that has lasted for four or more years....

Seriously, really, tell me. What was the date like? What signs are you looking for? What do you want? Do you seriously think I'm a dork? Are there too many questions here?

Woah woah brain! (wait, who's talking to whom?) Well, maybe it's because I have some serious vibe, but I can get into the energy of a person pretty quickly. I love easily. I also can fade away easily, but maybe not for that other person, because of the way I love. ....but it's intense. Not everyone can get with that intense kind of love, although it's what everyone says they want.

The three month date is a friendship (fateship?) in progress...some progress....the one day date was with him and ALL his friends, so since I haven't heard from him again, I'm thinking one of two things: he's either intimidated, or intimidated AND his friends said "out of your league." ...yeah, that sounds good. It's how legends are made. ("Document it! It might not be verifiable!! Document it anyway!!") Every date I've ever had needed time to develop. And as for the one that has lasted four or more years, I'm still trying to understand and contain all of those pieces. Things keep coming up that should be crystalline by now! Could that be why it is (and they all are) still a date and not more?

So then the others....ahh all the possibilities...and yet I sit, with my lovely little guy and a huge stack of excellent books, a computer and a few good friends...

I detect a hint of melancholy, dear one.

Yes. Does knowing what I want matter at this point? I have seen all the signs I would feel could make a really great thing happen with me and another dude, but I've also seen a lot of "wow! woah..." shit that could really just hang it all up for me.

Does this mean you don't know what you want? .......Are you avoiding my question? (man, my fingers just say whatever they want)

I feel I know what I want, but I don't know that it wants me right now.
The man needs to in as many physical ways possible (grounded emotionally, financially grounded and realistic), honest with his feelings, straightforward with heart, willing to hash it out calmly, must have a deep internal need to serve in some way humanity, in another way me (the way I would him). He needs to feel his spirit guides him and speaks for him openly and without reservation. He must be a leader and willing to "take one for the team" as I would.

I think this is me, so I'd want it to also be him.

Are you taking crazy pills, or do you really think this guy exists?

s I'm taking crazy pills and no I don't think, I KNOW this man exists, and I know I've been with him and eaten dinner with him and listened to him for long periods of time and supported everything that he is, or at least opened myself up to it.

You should probably do your homework now. I love you Connie.

es'am....Goddess. I love you too, Universe.