It's 3:52a.
hmmm...
I struggle to write a paper, letter by letter, or so it seems. It's not asking me anything tough...I am just dragging my heels and finding just about any distraction to prolong this paper, which is not a big deal, from being written...type the shift key, type a comma, then a 3, and you can get a heart on the instant messaging function on the universal friend portal, FaceBook, where we all stay connected through mostly highly positive means.
I notice I'm journaling about my eating habits, gave up my morning coffee, have eaten lots of light food and vegetables, talked to very inspiring friends, done a little reading and also some work. What is this awake energy that I'm experiencing?
Really the message of all this excess energy is coming from the awakening of this female warrior. I've spent many years of my life in the old shoes of the masculine energy I've always so comfortably taken on, including the types of men in my life that enjoy befriending me, most likely because of this maleness, and they don't typically know why this is. It could be that we get along, but there's something more, undeniably more about me that draws them slowly closer, like a panther quietly stalking his ,('her' Connie, 'her') prey. I've always drawn closer to males and have trusted them more in some ways, though I've never invited a man into my life that the majority could agree upon, trustwise...but i digress.
So having come to the frightening conclusion that i am most definitely transforming those male parts of myself, I am wondering what to do with this female warrior, now that she is appearing. She is calling me to be more loving, nurturing, caring, emphathetic and empathic, and play the role of earth mother. It's not that I haven't been there before. I just wonder in fact how hard it actually is to say goodbye to the male I've known so well. It's like 9 goodbyes all rolled into one. I have to remove the hardened layers of self...oh look, there they go now. People stop to talk not because they find me familiar, but because they sense this maleness. What I'm learning is that finding the path of the female warrior has much more to do with finding the wisdom of the ages while sipping on tea.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Consciousness, levels that don't exist, and planes as window panes.
So first of all,
let's start off by saying that consciousness is definitely this thing we all need on some level to create a sense of grounding within self. Consciousness is this effervescent presence we feel when playing in a wonderland of lost. In other words, we never lose our grounding if we are ever rooted in our presence minds, looking at the thing we are seeing, listening to the sound we are hearing. This is consciousness.
Doesn't everyone have this ability?
It is rather pretentious of said individuals of a "higher level of consciousness" to have been reported as saying that someone is less conscious than they are. Really? So then, the gangster is less aware than the grocery clerk or accountant? Really? Because honestly, I've seen quite often the opposite, to the detriment of the grocery clerk. Maybe the clerk is at this job for fear of leaving and bringing more money in with a tougher job, he shows boredom, understands there's no mental challenge in this job, and stares off into space anyway, because no one said hello or how's your day...no one took the time and the clerk suddenly begins to feel just a little less important. And a little less, and a little less until finally, one day, he just shuts up, chews gum, stares into space and dies.
...Or...
He gives each customer individual eye contact, warmth, and attention while at the register, as if this customer is the most important person on the planet and everyone else just melts away...like being in love and using this person as a mirror to reflect one's own current state of consciousness. Then that clerk sees the love shining back and offers pearls of wisdom a customer may be delightfully welcome to receiving in such an unlikely place.
Or how about the world-weary gangster who has fought his entire life for something righteous to happen, only to be sucked into a particular type of world he longs to escape from? This man though, loves his family more than air and would go to untold lengths to keep his precious bits from dissolving into the ether, leaving, tiring of his lifestyle, or just giving up on him and his need to heal...but yet and still, he takes care of the things most important to him in his life and is on his knees daily hoping for the way out of the dark, hoping someone has the patience and heart to shine a light in, while he astutely peers around every corner and over his shoulder, fully present and aware of all sights, sounds, and internal cues of whether peace or danger lurks.
Now, I'm not saying go out and get jumped into a gang or grab up a job at the nearest mart. I'm saying to wait on passing that assumption that all people were not created equally. Consciousness can come from anyone at any time, more than yours, and for the right reasons.
let's start off by saying that consciousness is definitely this thing we all need on some level to create a sense of grounding within self. Consciousness is this effervescent presence we feel when playing in a wonderland of lost. In other words, we never lose our grounding if we are ever rooted in our presence minds, looking at the thing we are seeing, listening to the sound we are hearing. This is consciousness.
Doesn't everyone have this ability?
It is rather pretentious of said individuals of a "higher level of consciousness" to have been reported as saying that someone is less conscious than they are. Really? So then, the gangster is less aware than the grocery clerk or accountant? Really? Because honestly, I've seen quite often the opposite, to the detriment of the grocery clerk. Maybe the clerk is at this job for fear of leaving and bringing more money in with a tougher job, he shows boredom, understands there's no mental challenge in this job, and stares off into space anyway, because no one said hello or how's your day...no one took the time and the clerk suddenly begins to feel just a little less important. And a little less, and a little less until finally, one day, he just shuts up, chews gum, stares into space and dies.
...Or...
He gives each customer individual eye contact, warmth, and attention while at the register, as if this customer is the most important person on the planet and everyone else just melts away...like being in love and using this person as a mirror to reflect one's own current state of consciousness. Then that clerk sees the love shining back and offers pearls of wisdom a customer may be delightfully welcome to receiving in such an unlikely place.
Or how about the world-weary gangster who has fought his entire life for something righteous to happen, only to be sucked into a particular type of world he longs to escape from? This man though, loves his family more than air and would go to untold lengths to keep his precious bits from dissolving into the ether, leaving, tiring of his lifestyle, or just giving up on him and his need to heal...but yet and still, he takes care of the things most important to him in his life and is on his knees daily hoping for the way out of the dark, hoping someone has the patience and heart to shine a light in, while he astutely peers around every corner and over his shoulder, fully present and aware of all sights, sounds, and internal cues of whether peace or danger lurks.
Now, I'm not saying go out and get jumped into a gang or grab up a job at the nearest mart. I'm saying to wait on passing that assumption that all people were not created equally. Consciousness can come from anyone at any time, more than yours, and for the right reasons.
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Fortune Cookie.
I sat at lunch today and opened up my fortune cookie, as usual.
I always have some powerful, inspirational, precognitive message given to me in most every cookie I've been presented...
Well today was no ordinary cookie. I just knew i had some special message awaiting me. So I go to open the cookie and, much to my surprise, nothing was there. So I had some thinking to do. Firstly, from the Eastern perspective, to have nothing is to have no-thing. Secondly, the fortune cookie is an American tradition. However, if taken from an Eastern perspective, one would say I had everything I needed. As an American woman living in California with a ton of gratitude, an amazingly gifted son, loving boyfriend, and two of the greatest jobs a giver could have, I do have in fact, everything I need.
I always have some powerful, inspirational, precognitive message given to me in most every cookie I've been presented...
Well today was no ordinary cookie. I just knew i had some special message awaiting me. So I go to open the cookie and, much to my surprise, nothing was there. So I had some thinking to do. Firstly, from the Eastern perspective, to have nothing is to have no-thing. Secondly, the fortune cookie is an American tradition. However, if taken from an Eastern perspective, one would say I had everything I needed. As an American woman living in California with a ton of gratitude, an amazingly gifted son, loving boyfriend, and two of the greatest jobs a giver could have, I do have in fact, everything I need.
The Fortune Cookie.
I sat at lunch today and opened up my fortune cookie, as usual.
I always have some powerful, inspirational, precognitive message given to me in most every cookie I've been presented...
Well today was no ordinary cookie. I just knew i had some special message awaiting me. So I go to open the cookie and, much to my surprise, nothing was there. So I had some thinking to do. Firstly, from the Eastern perspective, to have nothing is to have no-thing. Secondly, the fortune cookie is an American tradition. However, if taken from an Eastern perspective, one would say I had everything I needed. As an American woman living in California with a ton of gratitude, an amazingly gifted son and two of the greatest jobs a giver could have, I do have in fact, everything I need.
I always have some powerful, inspirational, precognitive message given to me in most every cookie I've been presented...
Well today was no ordinary cookie. I just knew i had some special message awaiting me. So I go to open the cookie and, much to my surprise, nothing was there. So I had some thinking to do. Firstly, from the Eastern perspective, to have nothing is to have no-thing. Secondly, the fortune cookie is an American tradition. However, if taken from an Eastern perspective, one would say I had everything I needed. As an American woman living in California with a ton of gratitude, an amazingly gifted son and two of the greatest jobs a giver could have, I do have in fact, everything I need.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
It's Time.
It's Time.
Finally, I wake up one morning to a new thought, one that is actually an old thought, but is currently resurfacing to penetrate my more educated neuroceptors. I am ready to be all I can be.
Is that it???
Is this all I've washed my face for? Well hold on one minute, because this isn't just some random thought. This is the thought that my world has been waiting for, the one that puts the extremely selfish side of me aside to help others. This is the thought that people around the world have when they get into their mid-30s and begin to feel accomplished in their life. Time has not yet passed me by, but it will if I let this one thought get away, or even get the best of me.
This business book has been staring at me for some time now. In fact, many many books have been staring at me, some angrily, and sometimes they talk to me. "Why haven't you read me, you idiot? don't you know I have something really good to tell you that might be powerfully helpful to you in your life??" Well yes mister book, I am certain that i am in fact missing out on something, but that is why you are here...to be there for ME when I am ready for YOU...Hmmm, I sound like I am channeling someone other than myself.
Anyhow, here is this idea for a business I've had in my mind for some time and I am finally expressing it to the world to bring it into manifestation: I want to create a unified network of individuals dedicated to helping people find wellness and wholeness (holiness!) through activities, light, healing with stones, music, ayurvedic medicine and food, consulting and counseling, dance, yoga or other exercise modality, that could possibly help one find a sense of balance. This concept is called Blissfully Fit, and it is now time to express to the world my intentions. This is exciting.
Okay, enough for now. The idea emerges. Let's maintain self while this process flows into my yogic psyche. ...
...Wow, that sounds totally cool. ;-)
Finally, I wake up one morning to a new thought, one that is actually an old thought, but is currently resurfacing to penetrate my more educated neuroceptors. I am ready to be all I can be.
Is that it???
Is this all I've washed my face for? Well hold on one minute, because this isn't just some random thought. This is the thought that my world has been waiting for, the one that puts the extremely selfish side of me aside to help others. This is the thought that people around the world have when they get into their mid-30s and begin to feel accomplished in their life. Time has not yet passed me by, but it will if I let this one thought get away, or even get the best of me.
This business book has been staring at me for some time now. In fact, many many books have been staring at me, some angrily, and sometimes they talk to me. "Why haven't you read me, you idiot? don't you know I have something really good to tell you that might be powerfully helpful to you in your life??" Well yes mister book, I am certain that i am in fact missing out on something, but that is why you are here...to be there for ME when I am ready for YOU...Hmmm, I sound like I am channeling someone other than myself.
Anyhow, here is this idea for a business I've had in my mind for some time and I am finally expressing it to the world to bring it into manifestation: I want to create a unified network of individuals dedicated to helping people find wellness and wholeness (holiness!) through activities, light, healing with stones, music, ayurvedic medicine and food, consulting and counseling, dance, yoga or other exercise modality, that could possibly help one find a sense of balance. This concept is called Blissfully Fit, and it is now time to express to the world my intentions. This is exciting.
Okay, enough for now. The idea emerges. Let's maintain self while this process flows into my yogic psyche. ...
...Wow, that sounds totally cool. ;-)
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