Sunday, November 25, 2012

Communication at the heart of Relation

I feel as if I have just won Relationship Scrabble.

This profound breakthrough in communication seems to be the thing I needed to find my peace again as a person who prides herself on being able to keep strong communication in partnerships. The problem for me had always been one of noticing that my relationships were still failing, skipping a beat and then ending. Isn't communication supposed to improve and maintain the status of a healthy, working union? I'm going to say yes, and then proceed in the idea that more communication can only help the intimacy grow.

My partner and I had several long discussions this week and it made all the difference in the questions we held for each other, like missing puzzle pieces. I was made aware today, of how I am teaching my partner how to ask the right questions when approaching situations and feelings that the process of intuition weren't answering. That's the other thing I noticed: intuition opens the inner sight to the world surrounding, and the individual's task is to see it, not necessarily for that picture to draw a straight path leading directly to the door with the answer behind it. Sometimes the search must be pursued.

In relationship I've been seeing how the search must be pursued and the right questions asked, in order to obtain the clearest response possible. If the right question is not asked, the right answer will not be gotten. This, to me, is the simplest truth I have agreed upon. This is also keeping in mind that the answer one is seeking, is dependent upon the answer one may have subconsciously decided and previously agreed on, based on past relationship experience. The toughest part is how the heart decides to render the current information based against personal history, be it successes or pain. Since I find this information in the past, I can probably register it as some form of pain, and for me, this means one or two things: pain is either the motivator, or the inhibitor, in relationship decisions.

When I explained to my man, that his current actions incited fear in my response to him based on my past, he understood after a rather lengthy explanation of what it meant. So I showed him a map to my front door, because he had been using his intuitive processes to discover my world, but not to the point of getting a direct reason for some of the rifts being caused. Then he showed me a map to his world.

I had been wondering why I was not quite able to successfully soothe the waters over an extended period of time, but now, given this new idea of actually taking the time to draw out the map, could help a future talk become a very clear and hopeful discussion. At first it seemed like such a no-brainer...but then, I looked at how much time I sometimes spend on trying to figure things out without details. Spirituality and intuition in relationships isn't always about knowing details. Instead, I can accept that it is more about asking the right questions.

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